Keeping my space clean
Keeping my space clean
What it was like:
Before I got sober my space, my environment would always be such a mess. There would be fucking clothes everywhere. My bedroom would be covered in clothes, some clean, some dirty, some question mark. I might if I was lucky to have a path leading from my bed to my door. Or more likely I would just have to step on my floor very strategically to get from my bed to my door. My car was a complete disaster. Just covered in trash, junk, clothes and always had a very weird smell going on. Not to mention the dirty dishes and dust that filled so many areas.
And only when I was super bored or super depressed would I clean. And even cleaning involved drinking. In my mind cleaning was so much more tolerable, even fun, when I was drinking. Usually that meant some wine and as a reward for cleaning a space I would usually give myself a spoonful of frosting (yet another super healthy choice, right?) Not surprising my “cleaning” skills were not too great and it wouldn't be long until I was just laying on the couch playing with my phone again.
What is like now:
So, what it looks like now is I make my bed pretty much every day. I try to at least keep my clothes contained to hampers, my closet or my dresser drawers. It still gets messy sometimes yes, but I try not to let it become a complete disaster. And I actually started to care if my space was clean (something drunk Kate never cared about). I love coming home to a made bed and a clean apartment. There is just something so peaceful about knowing no matter how tired I am or how stressful the day was that when I walk into my realm I can just flop onto a nicely made bed. And the dishes are all done like what? Who am I? That is a whole new experience for me. For me the biggest thing is I have stopped doing is putting things off like, “Oh, I’ll clean this weekend,” or “I’ll make my bed when I get home from work.” Or Oh, “I’ll do the dishes in the morning.” Or whatever the case may be I would just put unpleasant tasks off for future Kate, because future Kate is so going to want to do all those unfun activities. I find that if I just start things get an lt better a lot quicker. I’m really big on munisa. Which is just like walking around and looking at your space until you see something that needs to be done. Like, “Oh, my desk has a bunch of trash on it let me throw that away.” Which leads to, oh the trash can in my room needs to be taken out. Well, if I’m going to the dumpster I might as well take the trash out from the kitchen and my bathroom. Oh, my bathroom counter needs to be cleaned. So, it's mostly about doing what needs to be done right in front of you and one thing usually leads to another. And it just keeps going like that until you have a pretty clean space.
What I hope for it to look like:
And for what I would like for cleaning my space to look like in the future, I would love to get more organized. Like I would love to be able to look in my closet and just see all my clothes organized and put away. Right now, my clothes are out of the way and off my floor (which is great, a huge improvement from what it used to be). But my things are still not organized per say. Hanging up clothes is still a struggle for me. And kinda struggle getting rid of junk. I still have a problem with hoarding clothes. I need to just like accept I’m never going to wear that “white shirt” again and just let it go. And know there's not going to be a scenario where I have to have that particular white shirt. And if by some chance I really, really need a white shirt I can always go buy another white shirt if its super necessary. I need to remind myself that just because I throw this one white shirt away doesn’t mean I can never have a white shirt again in my life ever.